I have been so lucky, blessed, and happy to currently have well-controlled asthma. Since moving back to the DC area from California seven months ago, I have only had one asthma flare due to a flu-like infection. That means (so far!) I have not been triggered by all of the things that triggered me when I lived on the east coast before, such as pollen and fresh-cut grass. It seems that even the stress from such a big move and starting a new job has not impacted my breathing.
The fact is, my asthma has been well-controlled for a good five years. Prior, my severe, persistent asthma was a mess. I endured years of emergency room visits, allergy shots, multiple medications including bursts of oral steroids, and doubling up on daily inhaled corticosteroids. So much of my time was focused on doing all I could to make sure I kept breathing. It was overwhelming.
How quickly I forgot about my past asthma struggles.
It’s amazing how quickly I have pushed those tough years into the back of my mind. I rarely remember how hard living with asthma was back then. So much so I sometimes forget I have asthma.
The other night I took my dog for a walk. I grabbed his leash, my keys, my phone, and off we went. Even though it is mid-April, it was a cool, crisp night. Two blocks into the walk I noticed a smell of something burning. I couldn’t quite tell what it was, a bonfire or trash burning. I figured the further we walked the more the smell would fade. The smell didn’t fade. We walked 30 minutes in the opposite direction and I could still smell something burning. We turned around to start the walk back home.
Uh oh, this is an asthma episode in the making.
With several more blocks to go, my chest started to feel tight. I didn’t think much about it and just kept walking. We stopped at the corner and waited for the light to change. When we crossed the street I felt a weird feeling in my chest, followed by shortness of breath. Although it had been a while, I certainly remembered that feeling. That “Uh oh, this is an asthma episode” feeling.
So there I was, several blocks away from home, triggered by the smell of whatever was burning, with no quick-relief inhaler. Not having my inhaler with me made me panic, which we all know makes breathing worse. My mind was racing; how I was going to get home while having an asthma episode?
Bring it back to the breath.
I have started a mindfulness and meditation practice, even though I’m not great at it. This seemed like the perfect time to put some of those breathing techniques I have been learning into practice. My fabulous teacher (who also happens to be my fabulous cousin) reminds her students “You can always bring it back to the breath.” I told myself I was OK and was going to stay OK – I just needed to focus on my breath to stay calm. I focused on inhaling and exhaling, inhaling and exhaling. I knew this would not stop my asthma symptoms, but I was hoping it would keep me calm enough to make it back home to my inhaler.
The comfort of home, and my inhaler.
I made it home and went straight to my rescue inhaler. I primed it – 2 puffs sprayed in the air – because I couldn’t remember the last time I used it. I couldn’t wait to take two puffs and to start feeling better. I poured myself a glass of water and rested on the sofa while I waited for the medication to kick in.
Luckily, my symptoms went away quickly and I didn’t need additional medication or medical attention. This was quite a reminder to always have my rescue-inhaler with me. You never know when an unexpected trigger is going to pop up.
